You Found Me
Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Friday, January 29, 2010~ My today ~My today was made of a module's tutorial that nearly made me cry, Made of my experience with what a human being's selfishness is capable of, Made of realization that my happy-go-lucky self could soon be gone, Made of seeing players with low morale but can only look on helplessly, Made of packing goodie bags, Made of a training in hope that tomorrow's game will be O.K, Made of hope that Sat will be a major success, Lastly, Made of the want to just get some rest and study. Wednesday, January 27, 2010~ thankful ~After a day's long of training, supporting and everything else except school work, it was very heartening to see a bottle of glucosamine and a stack of photocopied notes on my table. Beside them was a bar of dark Dars chocolate and my ez link card. Thank you dearest Amelia for being so helpful. I'm way behind on work schedule and I can't wait to get back on track. There's so much I have to do and I'm just really grateful I have met caring friends willing to help me. My shoulder is weird. It's kinda hurts and it just feels different. I admit it might be psychological, but I'm pretty sure, this time its more than just psychological. I just hope I can last till Monday. ARGH... 3 more days to Charity Run 2 more days to my match a few more hours to Volleyball match and sending Johnny off. Really hope I can find transport of some sort =S Well.. just decided to blog today cayse im just really thankful! =) Tuesday, January 19, 2010~ what's in my head ~These few weeks have been zooming past crazily fast! I feel like I'm running a race against time. Never felt so tired before. I'm not sure if its age or its just this period where everything is crammed up. I'm in 3 sports, Chingay, 30th Anniversary Comm and part of the performing team for Amplitude (choir). Trainings were close to 3 times a week but I don't go religiously for every training, choir prac has been pumped up to 3 times a week too, and Chingay is still kept at twice a week, with occasional full runs on sat. Badminton's been trying to push practices to nearly everyday or whenever we can get the hall when it's available, and 30th is meeting almost everyday cause its 2 weeks to our event. For me, this is CRAZY. Too much to handle. What's worse, I'm still having problems settling my last module and work load this sem is... ... I had to drop something and I decided, it was going to be choir. So here I am with less 1 commitment. Now comes committee applications, mainly for second sem-ers and they miraculously started YEP again, with Yiwen heading the team. I think I've mentioned before how much I long to go for YEP but this year, I'm stuck with 30th and so, I had to hold back the urge to sign up because, I don't want to screw this sem up and I have already committed myself to something that really needs me during the 3 months. Why is it that when I want to try something, it seems like everything else just doesn't seem to fit. Ok, negative thinking here and I abhor feeling this way but I'll be ok soon. Like I always will be. Just need some time... actually, all I need is just 1 more module. Just settle my mods and I'll be able to focus better. Alright, done whining and complaining. Now for some thought provoking stuff (or at least they seemed thought provoking to me.. haha). How can one person pretend to be so nice in front of someone yet dislike them at the same time? Ok, maybe this is kinda common. What puzzles me more is... how can one live with being so sociable with so many, yet at the end of the day, remain an empty shell? Initially I thought maybe I could do something about it, or could perhaps help change the person, but I realise, the person's so happy the way he/she is and I'm just being taken as a sidekick. Or basically, someone that'll be there anyway. However, I think.. my initial motivation is wearing off and I don't know if I should find it back because I THINK someday, this whole "fake" living is going to crumble, and I don't want that person to be facing it alone. Should I just walk away? Don't bother if I seem like I'm talking rubbish k, as usual, I need somewhere to just vocalize my thoughts in my usual nonsensical way. As of today, I have 2 simple wishes (apart from my many other dreams and wishes) and they are... 1) get a module I want. More specifically EC4102 2) to make Charity Run a BLAST. =) Well, on to happier stuff... I had GOOD FOOD yesterday!! Siao Er and I met Wilson for lunch... went to NYDC at Holland V, and I had posh spice pasta! Concluded that I much prefer tomato sauce.. haha... After that, headed to Pacific Coffee Company for a rocky road frup!! These 2 gave me serious bad stomachache before training but indeed kept me high and energetic all the way into the night. Will be going out tomorrow with 3 special friends to my new found fav western (not cheap but worth I THINK) place... =D Shall sign off here now... looking forward to the good food to make me =D Friday, January 08, 2010~ demoralised ~Just had badminton friendly with RH and I feel like crap. BLEAH. I wish I can be better, stronger, faster. And actually, I think I can if only I trained more and pushed myself more during training. Feel like a weak lump of cotton wool. ARGH. What makes me feel worse is I actually had the cheek to comment on a fellow team member's playing saying that her service is weak even though her strength way surpasses mine. I mean I didn't compare her to myself but to better players but still, I'm like thinking what right do I have to even open my mouth when I played so terribly. This start of the year hasn't really been all bright and sunny... especially when module bidding is so uncertain. I need to brighten up. Need something to make me happy like I was just a few months ago. JIA YOU lix!! Sunday, January 03, 2010~ Grandpa's Birthday! ~Yay! Finally got the photo of my sis's getup yesterday. =)  Had a birthday celebration for my grandpa just now at Putien Restaurant at Tampines Mall. It's his 82nd birthday! =) The food was really good. =D =D =D Take a look! =)   Ok, some humans first...Now food. haha...  Cold Dish 1: braised salted duck Cold Dish 2: Seaweed with shrimp Cold dish 3: some fried fish.. can't remember the name =X but it tasted AWESOME. =D Cold dish 4: Jellyfish Cold dish 5: one of their signature dishes - pig's intestine =Z Shark's fin soup Some superb steamed fish Irrisistable toufu Interesting meat bun Veg with salted egg and century egg Fried spring chicken (i think. haha) Putien's signature bee hoon. Thumbs up! Dessert type 1: White fungus with lotus seed Dessert type 2: Fruit cocktail jelly Dessert type 3: their signature Yam paste with Gingko nut My grandpa's HAMBURGER cake! From DJ Bakery Looks sooooo real right. Haha...The top layer (of the burger) is actually choc cream, and the rest is really just choc sponge cake whilst the black thing which looks so alike to red bean paste is actually blueberry paste. =) NICE. Alrightie, that's all from my awesome dinner at Putien. Haha. I FINISHED my CNY shopping!!! Haha... bought 3 dresses from this shop "Vogue" at Tampines 1. Hope it still looks as nice on me when CNY arrives. hahaha.... Well... hope everyone has set their new year resolutions and keep to it... I'm currently in the midst of planning my modules for this coming semester and it's insane. I can foresee myself being super stressed real soon. =X On a lighter note... I'M GONNA WATCH SHERLOCK HOLMES (if there aren't any last min screw-ups) haha... WITH RACHIE and BEN and other 30th comm members if they want. =) Then after Chingay... it's FAREWELL SUPPER for Huluz and Jia Minh. Can't wait. =) I shall end here... Good night and take care everyone!!! `Lucky I saw it coming and took steps to prevent myself from falling in. 2010 is going to be a whole new start. Saturday, January 02, 2010~ chillin' out ~I was suppose to go tanning with my besties today but like I mentioned before, I think I'm jinxed, cause the sun just wasn't there and it even rained. Haha. I did manage to sit in the sun for awhile though, but as expected, my colour remains... WHITE. =Z Anyhow, instead of heading to Sentosa as originally planned, we ended up at Meiyi's condo because.. as usual, my 2 dear friends couldn't wake up! haha... From 9am meeting time, it eventually became 12noon. I made sandwiches.. which didn't turn out very successful... but edible! haha... Look at all the food we had...  Too bad didn't take a picture of 3 of us... haha... Really enjoyed the chilling sessions... think from now on we'll have more gatherings at Mei yi's condo. HAHAHA. Went shopping with my sis yesterday to find an outfit for her b'day party today and... I'm proud to announce, our buys off the $10 cart shops worked wonders! WHEE!! She looked awesome! Can't wait to grab her cam and show off the pic that we took before she left. Feel rather accomplished. haha. Going shopping again tomorrow... hope I get some good stuff for CNY! =) |